I ain't been drinkin' But if I was drinkin' I think I'd be drinkin' bourbon And right now you'd be a blur And I wouldn't hear a word 'Cause I'd be good and drunk That's for certain I ain't been smokin' But if I was smokin' I know I'd be smokin' weed When you blow all our money I'd laugh; it'd be funny 'Cause high as a kite Is where I'd be I love you, baby But sometimes, baby You dance on my last nerve And I get an insane kind of urge I ain't been cheatin' But if I was cheatin' That's right, I'd be cheatin' on you I am just a dreamer Thank God, I ain't been cheatin' 'Cause if I was I'd be losin' you I ain't been drinkin', smokin', or cheatin' 'Cause if I was, I'd be losin' you