Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinking Said his wifey dear Now that all is peaceful and calm The boys will soon be back on the farm Mister Reuben started winking and slowly rubbed his chin He pulled his chair up close to mother And he asked her with a grin How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm After they've seen Paree' How ya gonna keep 'em away from Broadway Jazzin around and paintin' the town How ya gonna keep 'em away from harm, that's a mystery They'll never want to see a rake or plow And who the deuce can parleyvous a cow? How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm After they've seen Paree' Rueben, Rueben, you're mistaken Said his wifey dear Once a farmer, always a jay And farmers always stick to the hay Mother Reuben, I'm not fakin Tho you may think it strange But wine and women play the mischief With a boy who's loose with change How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm After they've seen Paree' How ya gonna keep 'em away from Broadway Jazzin around and paintin' the town How ya gonna keep 'em away from harm, that's a mystery Imagine Reuben when he meets his Pa He'll kiss his cheek and holler "ooh-la-la! How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm After they've seen Paree'?