Don't Know Anymore

歌詞

To get to my current position I done more than 10,000 hours Dreamt that I saw my name on a gravestone Maybe then they would give me my flowers Mum put 3 of her boys in the tub same time 'Cause we couldn't afford to shower Before man snaked me, I already saw it coming I saw they were sour But now it's my time to experience fame The opps tryna find out where am I staying My girl don't believe anything I'm saying My family need anything, I'm paying Sat down telling a therapist stories I know she ain't gonna relate What's this? What's that? I don't care to explain I'll deal with grief and bearing the pain I don't paint these girls in a positive way You can tell that my heart's been broken before Tryna heal, but it's taking time What's the point in life? I don't know anymore Tell the young boys stay in school But I wouldn't be here if I followed the law keep making dumb decisions like I don't have control of my thoughts The guys wouldn't know that I'm feeling like this 'Cause I conceal and hide it Everyone's there on the weekend vibing Nobody's there when I need consignment I heard the quote that the strong survive But I still got a fear of us dying Some nights still toss and turn in my sleep 'Cause I seen some serious violence I was 6 years old when dad left home and they shot my granddad All of that at once My little bro's still going to school But he wanna do everything that the gang does Now he's repeating the cycle 'Cause he's outside and he wanna go act up Got sick of the carton milk It was free school meals, we never had pack lunch Cutting the mould of the loaf of bread And I looked in the fridge and the milk expired All of the mandem jumped in the trap 'Cause we put on The Wire and got inspired Not surprised when I see man lying It's fine, I already clocked they're liars I just saw a cat that I know whilst driving I might park up on the block, say hi Mum's house banging out Beanie Sigel I still don't feel much love in the air Lost faith in God 'cause I thought I was cursed Kept it to myself 'cause none of them cared Telling my baby: "Wait, I don't know how long it will it take, I'm gonna repair If it all falls down, would you bounce? If none of the tours sold out, are you gonna be there?" There's a few times I lost faith in music I put out a tune and it didn't get views Me and my broski went and came up with a plan back then But it didn't go through You know that shit that you say when you're broke Like "When I get dough I'ma bring in you too" Then I blew up and reality hit Shit, now I gotta think this through Three little brothers Mum's 40 and still ain't paid off her student loan My dad can't move, he's fucking paralysed Just went through some serious stroke The mandem calling me YG's warning me Saying that I gotta leave home I get more money, more problems now I had less to worry 'bout when I was broke Remember I had one pair of Air Forces Tryna keep out the creases Now the front drive look like it's a showroom And none of them leases I'm extremely grateful for all my people 'Cause none of them leeches I dropped a tape, got a billion streams And none of them even features Now my bredrin dissed me tryna go viral 'Cause he ain't blown yet How is that my fault? I thought you was Christian Why don't you move like Mathew, Phillip, disciple But you wanna snake man, move like Judas 'Cause you ain't blew, it's fucking vio And we're in London, bare opportunity It's not like we live in Ohio I booked hotels and flights to all of these shows And brought you to all of these countries Say thank you and pretend that you're grateful But when I turn man's back, say fuck me Whole six months, living at your mum's We was with big bro, on our own, it was us three Shouldn't ever bite the hand that feeds you I leave man starving 'cause you're too hungry I said that I got you, but you didn't trust me I would've, but you didn't give me the chance You can ask anyone of the mandem now if I ever left them in the dark Whatever's meant to be will be I can't turn back time or dwell on the past But I sometimes wonder Could have I got this far without losing my dargs?