A Fete Worse Than Death

歌詞

[Sample of an old record opens] [Speaking] Ahh, that's it boys! Put it up, put it all up! Today's the day! [Laughs] Get that big picture of my face, up on the side of the marquee. Cake stall, are you ready? Dog show, all your doggies in a row? Let's go! [Verse the first] If it's nice all summer I'll entice more numbers I'll invite all comers I'll invite your mother 'Cuz tonight I'm planning for tomorrow morning Getting up at dawn Sorting awning and bunting There's always something new Here at Elemental Manor there's something to do Something beautiful and a little alarming Being built in my English country garden So for one day you can come and try My kind of fun on a Sunday in July Quirky, lovely, quintessentially English Wonderfully rubbish Singularly distinguished! [Bridge, 2 times] (Come on down!) It isn't too late (Another summer!) Let me give you a break (Something a little different!) Let me give you a taste Of the annual Professor Elemental Village Fete! [Verse the second] Opening now for B-boys and B-ladies Steampunks go free, there's no need to pay me Got morris break dancers, jingling baby Serve strawberries and cream, with a forty of Baileys. Guess the weight of the break, the DJ rocks! Splat the rat rapper with a stick or some rocks Hook-a-duck left the villagers particularly shocked Shouldn't have used real ducks, that's sick And I'm not out to offend! It's for unusual tastes. You'll need your own spoon for my hen and spoon race. Stop your screw face, my tombola is so far bling, Thrown in a car with rims and a chauffer. Sack race for clans, crews, posses, and cliques Best pith helmet competition, obviously fixed. Cakes laced with herbs that will knock you for six Who'd have guessed a village fete would have gotten remixed? [Sample of an old record plays out]