Are you bored? Are you jaded? Has all the enthusiasm faded? Are you one of those people Like glazed fruit Who sit there in shell-shock Till the dot on your screen disappears? Are you one of those people Or are you just afraid? Are you one who craves excitement Were you tailor made For this sporting life? Living on a knife edge This sporting life's forever changing Are you one of these people? The keys please quick Every second counts I've signed the book Gimme the keys The elevator opens its mouth Like Jonah and the whale The elevator spits me out Into a freak show It's a freak show And into a swarm of flies Do.....do not disturb Do.....do not disturb The sign on the door read: Do not disturb Strange looks from the bellman As he takes me down the hallway Through a fire door to a stairwell Skidding, skidding, skidding, skidding Out of control, out of control Do.....do not disturb Do.....do not disturb The sign on the door read The sign on the door said The sign on the door read Do not disturb This is the Bad Samaritans Hello loved one Sorry there was nobody here To take your call personally However, we understand What you're going through How you've traveled life's highway With your smile on upside-down And now you think you've found The ultimate answer to all your problems Don't be hasty Why waste a life Wait until there's a crowd down below Give a little when you go Are you one of these people? Jump jump jump jump jump...... There's a fruitcake in the window Someone fetch the cops For God's sake get a camera Before the bastard drops A little to the left A little to the right A little to the left Maybe tonight's the night Why are we waiting? We're waiting A little to the left Right down the middle A little to the right X marks the spot You ain't gonna be On This is Your Life's tonight This sporting life Needs organizing We'd gladly lose the cup If we could stick the knife in This sporting life This sporting life This sporting life's forever changing Are you bored? Are you jaded? Has all enthusiasm faded Are you one of those people?