So you think you're bad, with your rap Well I'll tell ya pilgrim I started the crap When you were in diapers and wetting the sheets I was at the Ponderosa rapping to the beat Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Sure I rustled some cattle and tended the sheep But my main concern was rapping to the beat I don't bother nobody I'm a real nice guy, kinda Laid back like a, dead fly Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh I'm talkin, here and now Later for the cattle and rustlin the cow If I had a chance to do a repeat You can bet your sweet dippy I'd be rappin to the beat Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Que pasa amigos? Not a *pasa* I see Two hundred punks well what ya gonna do? I got two six shooters that'll see me through That's, twelve dead... And a hundred and eighty-eight pallbearers Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh What I do on your grave won't pass for flowers either Now Kurtis Blow, Run-D.M.C. You haven't heard of rap, til ya heard it from me I'm the baddest rapper in history And there'll be no more, after me Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Meanwhile, back at the ranch Santa Barbera that is Swimmin pools, and movie stars Well the first thing ya know ol' Ron's the President The kinfolk said, "Ron move away from there" Said, "In The White House is where you wanna be" So he loaded up the Lincoln and he moved to D.C. Washington, that is Politicians taking a sip Foreign dignitaries taking a trip High tax and plenty Cadillacs Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Now ya see me in my movies, doin my thing But deep in my heart, I've wanted to sing "Wayyyy dowwwn, upon the swannnny riverrrrrr Farrrr, farrr awayyy Titwillow, titwillow, titwillow" I don't think, that's your style But I'll tell ya pilgrim, I'm versatile Aretha Franklin, Aretha Franklin Aretha Franklin let me rock ya let me rock ya Aretha Franklin Let me rock ya Aretha Franklin that's all I wanna do Aretha Franklinnnnnn Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh I'm feeelin the groove now pilgrim Party, over here Party, over there There's nothin to it, the way we do it Woop woop! East coast, West coast Texas Every time I put on pants I tell ya pilgrim I wanna dance I put a quarter, in the juke' Then I commence, to doin the Duke Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh It's pretty easy, if you can see Just move your arms kinda freely Do a pause, and take a step And just make sure the beat is kept Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh I was at the Ponderosa rappin to the beat Tryin to cool off from the desert heat I discovered somethin, really neat The Duke has moves, with his feet Da haahh... da haahh Da haahh... da haahh I won plenty of ladies, with my charms But they like me the most for the moves of my arms Woahhh... woahhh I'm gonna rap, in the East Gonna rap, in the West I'll show ya pilgrim, who's the best Nothin to it, the way we do it Skiddely-be-bop, we-bop, Scooby Doo Guess what America we love you Da hahhhh, da hahhhh, da hahhhh Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Everybody Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh Da haahh, da haahh Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh...