Thoughtful Sleep

歌詞

The inquest Excerpts from the diary of Richard McClenan (1971-1989) April 6 (Thursday) Mother, Do you think of me as your son Or am I just a complication I need you now, I need you now A woman of the eighties You never have time for anyone I know your shadow, not your face It breaks the light in my lonely room As I lie awake in thoughtful sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep Father, Remember me I am your son Or am I just a distraction I need you now, I need you now You live in a material world People aren't people, they're what they own With your keyboard fingers and green screen brain Car phones, hotels, suitcases and planes Please squeeze me in, I do exist When time is money what price is love April 9 (Sunday) Even when I was young you didn't notice me I was raised on helpers, TV and pity When I cried for help you threw me money All I wanted was a pound of your time I feel Pity for you and your mentality Hate for you and what you've done to me Resentment for all your selfishness Content, content only within my emptiness Here we see Richard's true mixture of emotions Bitterness, rejection, contempt even hate All of which began to plague him more and more in the following days April 14 (Friday) I would try to explain But you would never listen I would try to break through That's the time you would shut me out I'd just bottle up all my emotions These feelings bite like a knot inside This pain I carry in solitude Chained to me in loneliness Depression has me, he is my king He shows the path that I must take A perversion of justive of the saddest kind To enter my dreams and I shall not wake April 15 (Saturday) As I sit by fading light And write to you this final note To exercise my divine right A lump begins to swell my throat You cannot see this tear-stained face You cannot hear these tormented cries If you don't understand my actions Then you must read between the lines And now I throw back in your face The only gift for which you didn't pay The gift of breath, of life, of being Something I no longer see a purpose in As I embrace eternal sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep