[ INTRO: Chris Rock ] ...All this ill shit This fuckin Sir Mix-A-Lot shit What the fuck is this shit? See the shit's video? 'PUT IT ON THE GLASS!' 'Put yo TITTIES on the glass' This is like a pick-up line: 'How you doin? I was wonderin, could you put yo BIG FUCKIN TITTIES on the glass?' 'No, I don't wanna go to a movie, could you PUT EM ON THE GLASS?!' 'Put your titties on the glass'?! What happened to 'How ya doin? Whatcha doin later? Let's catch a movie'? No, 'Put em on the glass' 'Put em on the fuckin glass' What the fuck is this shit? The girls got on bikinis - he got a fur coat on What the fuck is the weather like in Seattle? [ Sir Mix-A-Lot ] All my ex's, eat this one (You can have her) [ VERSE 1 ] I used to have this girl, let's say her name was Mona Mona, fine young sugar comin out of Arizona 5 ft. 6 straight thick with a switch And a set of them juicy-ass lips (Mmh...) Kinky, just like me She can take a straight gee And put him down for the count 1, 2, 3 Needless to say I was kickin it Cause I know when I'm the only one gettin it But - ooh, things change when you don't maintain The same game you got her with, mayn Flew back home, and I was slippin Cause as soon as I left, another brother starts spittin Throwin drag about wantin a family Tryin to front because he wanna be manly Tellin my girl how I'm playin the field Boy, you'se a jake for real Now a player I like, but you know I can't stand no snitch Tryin to front like he rich Done shot your credit, cause you bought you a new E 320, and you wanna be a hoe like me Now you done salted my game Told my girl I'm a player, and you bought her a ring You paid a lotta money just to grab her I'ma tell you like this, trick: you can have her (You can have her) [ VERSE 2 ] I gotta do what I gotta do Baby girl's through, so I need somethin new You can't keep a good mack down I get around cause I got a tight thing up in Sea-Town 5'9" with dimples Caramel skin, straight fine, hella tight, no pimples Thinkin my game was concrete But I gotta watch for them other entertainers and athletes Especially the ones who wanna settle down Cause they'll beg and drink out your shoes and get they nose brown Just the kinda man you wanted, ain't it, honey? A big buff dumb-ass fool with hella money Down to spend till his knees bend Then the athlete's broke and his girl's in the wind And my girl gets mad, cause I never spend time like I'm s'posed to Plus I'm a boaster Shaggin up too damn quick, now she's lookin for a sugar daddy Just to get a '96 Caddy A big truck she found You young scrub on the bench for the Cleveland Browns He never had nothin, thicker than a cheerleader Now he got juice, so he eats her And treats her to a big wad of cash Too weak, so she left his ass You can have her (You can have her) Just rollin by the Playboy Mansion... [ VERSE 3 ] I got me a, I got me a, I got me a, I got me a Young bunny, young bunny in La-La Land Wanna get freaky with the papa man I smack her to the front, I smack her to the back I smack it with the whiffle ball bat, remember that? One happy black man I be When my L.A. bunny wanna trip with me Her name is Teresa She was freakier than me, but I figured I could please her She had the long braids Chocolate sister, loved to cuff men like slaves Arrived at the house at last Seen two shades of lipstick on the same wine glass Provocative artwork around me Four pink slippers on the floor surround me One pair's for her, the other pair's for who? Plus she only lives in a one bedroom Well hm - it might be on Mnage--trois, open la bouche, taste la bomb Teresa's roommate walks in 6 ft 2 with a wig and a stupid-ass grin (Oh my goodness!) (You can have her) You done brought a big-ass man up in the room? Girl, what's wrong with you? Honey, that is gay Yo partner, you can have her Cause I don't want none of y'all 3's Company, if you know what I'm sayin Yeah Put it on the danceflo' Bring it back