I got him from the pet shop They said he was a guard dog The only thing that's fierce about him Is his constant hard-on He gets all excited when I'm giving him a biscuit He gets a bit of dogs jizz on his little lipstick And one time I smelt it and it smelt so rank He just can't leave his cock alone That's why we call him 'Wank' CHORUS: Wank the dog, wank the dog Pull on a marigold and wank the dog Wank the dog, wank the dog Pull on a marigold and wank the dog He may not be a pedigree But he's always got a drop of white wee-wee for me So I follow him around with a square of toilet paper Damp him down when he's around 'Cause he will try and rape ya I took him to the vets who said that he could chop his plods off But I quite like relieving him so I told him to sod off My dog's randy, he's very, very randy The only way to calm him down Is to give him a hand shandy