Aftspoken

歌詞

Hah— Leave the door Just as it is We came back with cardboard boxes And a roll of packing tape Your coat was on the staircase Mine was folded by the plates Mother’s cups were in the cupboard Four in blue and one in white You wrapped each one in newspaper Like we had another night I found our names behind the pantry Penciled into painted wood Every year a little higher Every year we thought we would Come back sooner Call more often Say the easy things Out loud We kept saving them For later Later never Came around You opened Mother’s winter coat And found a folded note Her fading words were barely there But both of us could quote Please keep each other warm You looked away I watched your hands I didn’t touch you yet There are distances between us That the body won’t forget You said, “I left because I blamed you” I said, “I thought you blamed yourself ” Then the room became much quieter Than the house had ever felt If love was in the small things Why were small things hard to say? Why did we cross seven winters With a telephone away? I knew the sound of your footsteps But not the weight you carried home We grew up inside one house Then learned to hurt alone If I reach across this silence Will you meet me where it ends? I don’t need the years returned I need my brother Back again I was angry You were absent You were drowning I was proud We mistook our separate sadness For a truth we spoke aloud I can’t change the empty birthdays I can’t fill the missing chairs But I can stop pretending That I never needed you there Some apologies are shaking Some forgiveness Barely breathing Stay— Even if the room is empty Stay— Until the final box is gone Stay— I don’t have a perfect sentence Only this Unsteady song Love was always in the small things In the cups and penciled names In the coat you wrapped around me When I wouldn’t leave the rain I still know the sound of your footsteps Now I know what followed you home We grew up inside one house We don’t have to hurt alone So I’m reaching through the silence Meet me somewhere past the end I don’t need the years returned I need my brother Here again Stay with me— Ah-ah-ah— I’m still here— Can you hear me? I’m still— Heeeere— We carried out the final boxes You turned back And touched the frame Two small lines Behind the pantry Still holding Both our names Hah—