And now, ladies and gentlemen The Keeper of the Keys The Countess of the Clink The Mistress of Murderers' Row Matron Mama Morton! Ask any of the chickies in my pen They'll tell you I'm the biggest mother hen I love them all, and all of them love me Because the system works: the system called reciprocity Got a little motto, always sees me through When you're good to Mama, Mama's good to you There's a lot of favors I'm prepared to do You do one for Mama, she'll do one for you They say that life is tit for tat, and that's the way I live So I deserve a lot of tat for what I've got to give Don't you know that this hand washes that one, too? When you're good to Mama, Mama's good to you! If you want my gravy, pepper my ragout Spice it up for Mama: she'll get hot for you When they pass that basket, folks contribute to You put in for Mama, she'll put out for you The folks atop the ladder are the ones the world adores So boost me up my ladder, kid, and I'll boost you up yours Let's all stroke together, like the Princeton crew When you're strokin' Mama, Mama's stroking you! So what's the one conclusion I can bring this number to? When you're good to Mama, Mama's good to you!