Egyptian cream, she loves to smear She loves to smear it everywhere On her face and on her hands 'Til she feels like she's a man And when the change comes And the hair grows all over her skin She's a natural, she's part of The body she's in In the Sahara, there she lay On an ironing board one day She was gone for seven months Hadn't guessed what happened once When they told her, "You're pregnant" She threw up her hands And thousands of fingers Grew out of the sand Egyptian cream Egyptian cream, she loves to smear She loves to smear it everywhere When you're sore, too sore to dream Try some more Egyptian cream And when the change comes And the grass grows all over the mound The tadpoles come slithering Out of the ground Egyptian cream