Oh, me name is Dick Darby, I'm a cobbler I served my time at ould camp Some call me an old agitator But now I'm resolved to repent With me ing-twing of an ing-thing of an i-doe With me ing-twing of an ing-thing of an i-day With me roo-boo-boo roo-boo-boo randy And me lab stone keeps beating away Now, my father was hung for sheep stealing My mother was burned for a witch My sister's a dandy house-keeper And I'm a mechanical switch It's forty long years I have traveled All by the contents of me pack Me hammers, me awls and me pinchers I carry them all on me back Oh, my wife she is humpy, she's lumpy Me wife she's the devil, she's cracked And no matter what I may do with her Her tongue, it goes clickety-clack It was early one fine summer's morning A little before it was day I dipped her three times in the river And carelessly bade her "Good day"