If you save yourself for marriage, you're a bore If you don't save yourself for marriage, you're a horrible person If you won't have a drink, then you're a prude But they'll call you a drunk as soon as you down the first one If you can't lose the weight, then you're just fat But if you lose too much, then you're on crack You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't So, you might as well just do whatever you want So, make lots of noise, kiss lots of boys Or kiss lots of girls if that's somethin' you're into When the straight and narrow gets a little too straight Roll up a joint, or don't Just follow your arrow wherever it points Yeah, follow your arrow wherever it points If you don't go to church, you'll go to Hell If you're the first one on the front row, you're a self-righteous son of a... Can't win for losin', you'll just disappoint 'em Just 'cause you can't beat 'em don't mean you should join 'em So, make lots of noise, kiss lots of boys Or kiss lots of girls if that's somethin' you're into When the straight and narrow gets a little too straight Roll up a joint, or don't Just follow your arrow wherever it points Yeah, follow your arrow wherever it points Say what you think, love who you love 'Cause you just get so many trips around the sun Yeah, you only... Only live once So, make lots of noise, kiss lots of boys Or kiss lots of girls if that's what you're into When the straight and narrow gets a little too straight Roll up a joint, I would And follow your arrow wherever it points Yeah, follow your arrow wherever it points