What's My Age Again? (Live)

歌詞

I took her out, it was a Friday night I wore cologne to get the feeling right We started making out and she took off my pants But then I turned on the TV And that's about the time she walked away from me Nobody likes you when you're twenty-three And I'm still more amused by TV shows What the fuck is A.D.D? My friends say I should act my age What's my age again? What's my age again? Then later on, on the drive home I called her mom from a pay phone And I said I was the cops and your husband's in jail This state looks down on sodomy And that's about the time that bitch hung up on me Nobody likes you when you're twenty-three And I'm still more amused by prank phone calls What the fuck is caller ID? My friends say I should act my age What's my age again? Where's my Asian friend? It's the slow pretty part! And that's about the time she walked away from me Nobody likes you when you're twenty-three And you still act like you're in freshman year What the fuck is wrong with me? My friends say I should act my age What's my age again? And that's about the time that she broke up with me No one should take themselves so seriously With many years ahead to fall in line Why would you wish that on me? I never want to act my age What's my age again? Where's my Asian friend? What's my age again? Mark: Where's my Asian friend? Fuck, yeah! Tom: Hey, Mark! I'm starting to get sweaty. And contrary to what most people think, I think I look better wet. I've been campaigning this for about two years now. So, throughout the show, you will see me getting sexier and sexier as it gets hotter and hotter. You know? Mark: And... Tom: And what? Mark: If you watch close enough, you might watch Tom getting fatter and fatter as the show goes on too. Tom: Why would I be getting f-fatter? Mark: Cause... Tom: Boobies! Mark: Oh, jeez. Stop it. No. Tom: Yeah, you are too young. Mark: You're way too young. Gosh. Lemme tell ya why you are going to get fatter and fatter because dog semen is full of calories. Tom: Yeah, don't eat dog semen. We hear that there's, uh... there's har... It's the number one cause of, uh, of bad breath. Tom: Hey, this song is about when I had too much alcoholic beverages, got kicked out of high school. Wrote a song about it, and here it goes, it's like this. Mark: Here, here it goes.