Going Through Changes

歌詞

I'm going through changes I'm going through changes Lately I really feel like Im rolling for like Philly I feel like Im losing control of myself I sincerely I apologize if all that I sound like is Im complaining But life keeps on complicating an Im debating On leaving this world this evening even my girls Can see Im grievin I try and hide it But I cant why do I act like Im all high and mighty When inside Im dying I am finally realizing I need help I cant do it by myself too weak 2 weeks Ive been having ups and downs Going through peaks and valleys dilly dallying Around with the idea of ending the shit right here Im hatin my reflection I walk around the house tryin to fight mirrors I cant stand what I look like yeah I look fat but what do I care I give a f**k only thing I fear is Hailie Im afraid if I close my eyes I might see her Shit I'm going through changes I'm going through changes I lock myself in the bedroom bathroom nappin at noon Yeah dads in a bad mood hes always snappin at you Marshall what happened at you you cant stop with these pills And youve fallen off with your skills and your own fans are laughin at you It become a problem youre too pussy to tackle get up Be a man stand a real man woulda had this shit handled Know you just had your heart ripped out and crushed They say Proof just flipped out homie just swift out and bust Nah it aint like Doody to do that He wouldnt fuckin shoot at nobody he fights first But dwellin on it only makes the night worse Now Im poppin Vics perks and Methadone pills Yeah Em tight verse you killed it Fuckin drug dealers hang around me like yes man And they gon do whatever I says when I says it Its in their best interest to protect their investment And I just lost my f**kin best friend so f**k it I guess then I'm going through changes Dont know what Im going to do but I just keep on going through changes My friends just cant understand this new me Thats understandable man but just think how bananas youd be Youd be an animal too if you were trapped in this fame and caged in it like a zoo And everybodys lookin at you what you want me to do Im startin to live like a recluse and the truth is Fame startin to give me an excuse to be at a all time low I sit alone in my home theatre watchin the same damn DVD Of the first tour the last tour he was still alive And it hurt sore fast forward sleepin pillsll make me feel alright And if Im still awake in the middle of the night I just take a couple more yeah youre motherfuckin right I aint slowin down for no one I am almost homeward bound Almost in a coma yeah homie come on dont look now Daddy dont you die on me daddy better hold your ground Fuck dont I know the sound of that voice Yeah baby hold me down I'm going through changes I'm going through changes Wake up in the hospital full of tubes plus somehow Im pullin through Swear when I come back Ima be bulletproof Ima do it just for Proof I think I should state a few Facts cause I may not get a chance again to say the truth Shit it just hit me that what if I would notta made it through I think about the things I would never got to say to you Id never get to make it right so heres what I came to do Hailie this one is for you Whitney and Alaina too I still love your mother thatll never change Think about her every day we just could never get it together Hey wish there was a better way for me to say it But I swear on everything Id do anything for her on anyday There are just too many thing to explain when it rains Guess it pours yes it does wish there wasnt any pain But I cant pretend there aint I aint placin any blame I aint pointin fingers heaven knows there never been a saint I know it just feels like we just pissed away our history But just today I looked at your picture almost hate to say I miss you self consciously wish it didnt end this way But I just had to get away dont know why I dont know what else to say I guess I'm going through changes Dont know what Im going to do but I just keep on going through changes