I wanna be evil, I wanna spit tacks I wanna be evil and cheat at jacks I wanna be wicked, I wanna tell lies I wanna be mean and throw mud pies I want to wake up in the morning with that dark brown taste I want to see some dissipation in my face I wanna be evil, I wanna be mad But more than that I wanna be bad I wanna be evil and trump an ace Just to see my partner's face I wanna be nasty, I wanna be cruel I wanna be daring, I wanna shoot pool And in the theater I want to change my seat Just so I can step on everybody's feet I wanna be evil, I wanna hurt flies I wanna sing songs like the guy who cries I wanna be horrid, I wanna drink booze (I want to be horrid, I want to make news) And whatever I've got I'm eager to lose I wanna be evil, little evil me Just as mean and evil as I can be