Everybody needs a Thneed A fine thing that all people need The Thneed is good, The Thneed is great And it's just $3.98 Everybody needs a Thneed It's revolutionary guaranteed! The Thneed is new the Thneed is nice And did you see that price? Since the glorious dawn of man There's never been a thing to do what this thing can So listen carefully To all the wondrous things a Thneed can be It's a sock, it's a suit Boxing glove, parachute A butterfly net, reusable diaper An exercise belt, a runny nose wiper A slingshot, a muzzle, a jump rope, a hat A colorful sweater you put on your cat Nothing else in this world can do that Old or young, tall or short, thin or fat Republican, independent, libertarian or democrat