Colin Zeal knows the value of mass appeal He's a pedestrian walker, he's a civil talker He's an affable man with a plausible plan Keeps his eye on the news, keeps his future in hand And then he Looks at his watch he's on time yet again He's pleased with himself, so pleased with himself, he's Pleased with himself ah ah. While sitting in traffic, Colin thinks in automatic He's an immaculate dresser, he's the common aggressor He's a modern retard with a love of bombast Keeps his eye on the news never dwells on the past And then he Looks at his watch he's on time yet again He's pleased with himself, so pleased with himself, he's Pleased with himself ah ah. He's a modern retard, he's a terminal lard, He's an affable man with a carotene tan because Colin Zeal is ill.