Steve Berman(skit)

歌詞

Eminem: Heyyy! Steve: Hey, Em, what's up? Eminem: Steve Berman. What's goin' on, man, how you doin? Good to see you again. What's up? Steve: Em, could you come here and have a seat, please? Eminem: Umm, yeah, what's... Steve: Vannessa, shut the door. Secretary: Okay. Eminem: So what's up? How's orders looking for the first week? Steve: It would be better if you gave me nothing at all. Eminem: Wh- Steve: This album is less than nothing. I can't sell this fucking record. Eminem: Wha- Steve: Do you know what's happening to me out there? Eminem: Wh-wha-what's the problem? Steve: Violent Ground told me to go fuck myself! Eminem: Who's Violent...? Steve: Tower Records told me to shove this record up my ass! Do you know what it feels like to be told to have a record shoved up your ass? Eminem: But, I- Steve: I'm gonna lose my fuckin' job over this. You know why Dre's record was so successful? He's rappin' about big-screen tv's, blunts, 40's and bitches. You're rappin' about homosexuals and Vicadin. Eminem: I mean- Steve: I can't sell this shit! Eminem: What- Steve: Either change the record or it's not coming out! Eminem: What, I- Steve: Now get the fuck out of my office! Eminem: What am I supposed- Steve: NOW! Eminem: Aight man, whatever. [Eminem]Hey Steve, Vanessa said you waned to see me [Steve]Marshall, I can call you Marshall right? [Eminem]Uhh, sure. [Steve]Good. Sit the fuck down for a second [Eminem]Okay... [Steve]Do you just fuckin hate me? [Eminem]Hate you? What-- [Steve]What the fuck have I ever done to you? Your last record, we got lucky. This D12 album is FUCKED! [Eminem]What's wrong with it? [Steve]I don't wanna rape my grandmother! I don't wanna have sex with pitbulls! I wanna roll on dubs, I want throw bows, I wanna rock prada! [Eminem]"Rock prada"? [Steve]And who the fuck is this Bizarre guy? [Eminem]What do you mean? [Steve]Do you need a CAT scan?! Where the fuck did you find this guy? [Eminem]I mean, I've known him like... [Steve]This album's never coming out. [Eminem]Steve, you've only heard one song! [Steve]Fuck you! Get the fuck outta here! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Eminem]Okay, okay, shit! *Door knocks* Steve Berman: It's ridiculous, I can't believe it, what? Hold on a minute. Em... Eminem: Whuddup? Steve Berman: Dre, I'll call you back. Eminem: What now? Steve Berman: I don't even know where to start. Eminem: Okay Steve Berman: I got the album from upstairs.. Eminem: And? Steve Berman: And this is by far the most... *Gun shoots* Steve Berman: ...incredible thing I've ever heard... (Ring Ring) Secretary: Mr.Berman? Steve: What? Secretary: We have Eminem here to see you. Steve: About fuckin' time. Send him in. (Door opens) Eminem: Steve! Good to see you man. Um,hey I jus- Steve: Well, look who decided to show his face! I hope you've had fun in the last four years! Em: Look man, I apologize again for- Steve: For shooting me?! Do you know I lost the use of my right arm? Eminem: Again, it was a mistake. It was a terrible mista--- are you wearing a bulletproof vest? Steve: And then you go and do, what, Hide out? Stay in Detroit for almost 5 years while the music industry melts the fuck down? Do you know how many people lost their jobs because of your fucking vacation? Eminem: Well, that's actually why I'm here, I was gonna put out some new music and I wanted to play it for you and get your opinion--- Steve: Do I REALLY need to hear it? Let me guess: Another album about "poor me, I'm so famous it has ruined my rich little life and I'm such a tortured artist let me make music about it and my tragic love life." Am I on to something here? Eminem: C'mon, man! It's not like that! Steve: You know what? Just hand the fucking thing over! I'm done talking to you! Think you can just come and go as you please, big selfish superstar! Eminem: Steve, I had a drug problem. Steve: "Oh, poor me! I had a drug problem!" Who hasn't had a drug problem in this town? You know what? (Cocks gun, Em: "Woah!") Just lay this shit down on my desk and get the fuck out! Eminem: Woah Woah, Jesus Christ man, alright alright, here, fine... Steve: What's this shit?! TWO cds?! Eminem: That's what I've been trying to tell you, man. It's two albums. Steve: Just get out! Get the fuck out! Eminem: Alright, man. See you later.