Don't go surfing in the English surf It's cold and it's dirty and the beach is worse There's glass in the sand and the ice cream man is cursed Don't go walking in the summer sun Without a sun cream factor of a Hundred and One The burns and the boils are gonna try and spoil your fun Come out in the sunshine It's gonna rain sometime It won't get better but it might never get worse Don't try this verse if you're sat at home And get permission first before you use the phone Keep your eyes on your purse if you're shopping on your own And don't get caught with your trousers down If you're under eighteen on the underground When the boy of your dreams in the cut-down jeans comes round Bring him out in the sunshine It's gonna rain sometime It won't get better but it might never get worse Caffeine is a drug Tobacco is a drug Microwave ovens Will put toxins in your grub And if your grub is fried That's a Heart Attack Plus Or you could step outside And get run over by a bus In the sunshine