Couch Potato (Parody of "Lose Yourself" by Eminem)

歌詞

Look, if you had one shot To sit on your lazy butt And watch all the TV you ever wanted Until your brain turned to mush Would you go for it or just let it slip? Yo, Remote it ready, eyes wide, palms are sweaty There's Flinstones on the TV already, Wilma 'n' Betty No virgin to channel surfin', and I'm HD-ready So flip Garbage is all I'm getting There's Simon Cowell who folks wanna disembowel He opens his mouth always says omething foul They're dyin', wow! Wannabes are crying now He votes them out, time to throw in the towel Shows based on reality, oh the humanity! Oh, Ozzy's family, sho' love profanity Whoa, the insanity, oh dogs that crap and pee Home of depravity? No, they live happily, yo Plus Da Ali G Show and Celebrity Mole Oh, and there's Anna Nicole, she's scaring me Look ma, no cavities Oh, it's a station break Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV They told me, they'd scold me But I'd still tune in every show My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime, You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV They told me, cajoled me, Turn off those music videos I'm gonna watch C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime, (You're gonna) My butt is aching as I watch NASCAR racing That show about undertaking Larry King to 24 to Law And Order The Weather Channel's boring like 60 Minutes ancient reporters Next up on E! True Hollywood Story The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey Shows for next fall, they've already been namin' CSI Boise and Touched By An Uncle both sound pretty lamen 'n' So does Everybody Tolerates Raymond And King of Queens jumped the shark the first minute I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it I'll move right on to 8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenaged Daughter Then I bet I watch bachelorette Followed by Welcome Back, Kotter And The Muppet Show where they go 'Mahna Mahna' You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV They told me, they'd scold me But I'd still tune in every show My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO The Disney Channel and A E and Lifetime, You're gonna lose your mind watcin' TV They told me, cajorled me But I still love Lisa Kudrow I'm looking at C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO They Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime, (You're gonna) Never missed Melrose Place or Lost In Space I've seen each Amazing Race and Without A Trace But I only watched Will And Grave one time one day Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay Oh, and Fear Factor I watched maybe a half hour After that, felt like I needed a long shower Network execs with naked ambitions Next week on FOX, watch lions eat Christians Like to tie up those programming planners Make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like Scanners Leech-covered grub-eatin' fools on Survivor Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob 5 chneider And there's Gilligan and SpongeBob plus there's MacGyver And Jay Leno has got Madonna, hey there's Luke Perry on a Special all Pig Latin episode of Drew Carey Wanna turn on E.T. 'cause I'm a gossip freak And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week A 30 second spot, then we come back to Are You Hot? I was planning on recording The Sopranos ooh I forgot I love shows with or without a plot I'll stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot Because I only have got One brain to rot I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot You're gonna lose your mind watching TV They told me, they'd scold me But I'd still tune in every show My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime, You're gonna lose your mind watching TV They told me, cajoled me, Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show (no) I got it on C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime, (You're gonna) You can watch anything you want to, man