I was busy groping on my floor, Some git comes knocking on my door, There's a pack of bastards queuing up outside. No, I don't think that God's amazing, No, I don't want no double glazing, I'm just trying to get between this woman's thighs. 'Do you want some life a**urance?' , Do you want some car insurance?', F*** off, twat, I'm trying to have a poke. 'God's sent me on this mission', 'Sign the animal cruelty petition, ' I think beagles should be forced to smoke. I believe in animal testing, (yip!) That's a dog, I don't want cladding or insulation in me f***ing loft, Don't want to help the poor at Christmas, I'm too busy in this bird's knickers, I got my airgun out for the Hari Krishnas. Some old biddy's saving dogs, So I pushed a flame thrower through the letter box, F*** off granny, or you'll get what the mormons got. Cos I fried that bastard to a cinder, Poured piss on the vicar out of the bedroom window, The Animal Rights got their leaflets up their arse. I believe in animal testing, (meeow!) That's a cat, I don't want to buy any carpet cleaner, Yes, I know the dog's just shat, I'm quite happy with these stains, I wired the doorbell to the mains, Now Macc's got no MP, isn't that a shame?. Got back to sorting this girl out, 'What was it you came round about?', She's collecting for the church's gerbil fund. Now that seems like a worthy cause, So she got down on all fours, 'I'd like to make a contribution to your cunt.' I believe in animal testing, (ooh!) That's a bird, If the panda's dying out, I couldn't give a turd, I don't want to know about politics, I'd rather scrape the cheddar off my d***, And save the smelly bits for Jehovah's Witnesses. I believe in animal testing, (mooo) That's a cow.