MRS JOHNSTONE : The house we got was lovely The neighbours are a treat They sometimes fight on Saturday night But never in the week Since I pay me bills on time The milkman insists I call him Joe He brings me bread and eggs Says I've got legs Like Marilyn Monroe Sometimes he takes takes me dancin' Even takes me dancin' I know our Sammy burnt the school down Well it's very easily done If the teacher lets the silly gets Play with magnesium Thank God he only got probation The judge was old and slow Though it was kind of him Said I reminded him of Mailyn Monroe JUDGE : And could I take you dancing? I'd love to take you dancing young lady MRS JOHNSTONE : Our Mickey's just turned fourteen Y'know he's at that age When you mention girls or courting He flies into a rage He's got a thing for taking blackheads out And he thinks that I don't know That he dreams all night of girls Who look like Marilyn Monroe He even started dancing, secret dancing As for the rest, they've flown the nest Got married or moved away Our Donna Marie's already got three She'a bit like me that way And that other child of mine I haven't seen for years Although each day I pray he'll be OK Unlike poor Marilyn Monroe