Air-con set to sub-Arctic If it moves, it isn't quick Major delays, cancellations Tedious conversations Trying to eat your dinner with an ass in your face It's a disgrace It's a journey into pure despair There are fucking assholes everywhere I can smell piss and shit in the air Fuck you, southern trains, we're not getting anywhere Journey into pure despair I just want to get somewhere Throw away the itinerary The whole rat race in one place, stationary On your marks, get set, stop there Southern trains are top It's a journey into pure despair There are fucking assholes everywhere I can smell piss and shit in the air Fuck you, southern trains, we're not getting anywhere Them southern trains Choo-choo Boo-hoo Them southern trains Choo-choo Boo-hoo Heaving carriages of indignation Grown men weeping of pure frustration Totally packed and always late Into the tunnel of hate It's a journey into pure despair - Got me on the rails There are fucking assholes everywhere - This steam-age nightmare I can smell piss and shit in the air - Slower than snails Fuck you, southern trains, we're not getting anywhere