Roommates(Live Stand-Up)

歌詞

*Go back ::scratch:: Go back ::scratch:: Go back to ur dorm, an u got ur roommate.. that never werks out. That never werks out.. they don't want it to work out. They want it like its a real world episode in ur dorm room. Like I, uh, Like I don't understand like they hav the compatibility tests you fill out at the beginning of the year... thats such a joke with that test u fill out at the beginning of the year. It's like "Umm I like rock and roll. I like stayin up late, and I love the ladies! oh yeah oh hoo" "Okay we got the perfect room mate for u. He'z an opera major,he'z an arptileptic, an he'z gay so go fight each other. we got four camera angles. That'll be perfect, welcome to college, go screw urself." "HUH?" "Yeah, thats what we say here, go ahead." Then u think urslef, "Okay I got it beat, i got it beat, my buddy from high skool's comn up, hez gonna be my room mate, its gonna be awesum." No, that is never awesum. It doesn't work out. No it doesn't. Hate to tell ya, u will fight each other, u will jes get, u will get, ill tell ya why one of is cuz they have too much dirt on u. You'r friend from home has too much dirt on u, they'll kill u they'll crush u in an argument for no reason. Like u jes say "hey man, uh, these dishes hav been in the sink for like 2 weeks man, an their ur dishes, are u gonna clean em or wat?" Yeah remember when u had crabs in 6 grade? (audience laughter) I fair to bring up my crabs?