Well, my baby's liquored up and she's talkin' to my friends About this, that, and nothin', then starts it all again Head like a powder keg, lips set on fire She's lookin' for a sucker, she found another buyer Stink-breath, sudden death, Satan at the bar Grabbin' every butt no matter who you are Even the cops think she's gone too far She just took a dump in my new car! She's all liquored up (my baby's drunk as skunk!) She's all liquored up (hey, goddangit, don't throw up!) She's all liquored up Well, she smiles like a reptile, her lips are razor-thin Her legs are made of jello, her voice'll rip your skin To hide her potty mouth she hikes her skirt above her head The whole Seventh Fleet's checkin' out her spread Foul gas, shot glass stuck to her snout In everybody's business, she don't care what it's about Rum, gin, anything, now it's Guinness Stout The whole club's prayin' she finally passes out She's all liquored up (oh, she's normally a nice girl) She's all liquored up (look at her go!) She's all liquored up (I'm gonna attack the guitar!) Stink-breath, sudden death, Satan at the bar In everybody's business, she don't care who you are Even the cops think she's gone too far She just took a dump in my new car! She's all liquored up (my baby's all liquored up) She's all liquored up (would you please get of the floor, dammit!) She's all liquored up (hey, hey, quit unzippin' my pants!) She's all liquored up (oh yeah, I said stop that now) She's all liquored up (Yeah, normally a nice girl, geez)